Still in ICU. Doctor just came to see me, so hopefully I'll know more soon. Morphine & phenegran didn't work to ease any pain, they put me on dilaudid, which they say is stronger than morphine, and that's not even BEGINNING to touch the pain. It's not having any effect at all. I hate this. I miss Marius. I should be bonding with him. I've only managed to change 2 of his diapers in the 5 days since he was born, and both of those were in my postpartum room @ Albany Med. I hate this shit. He needs me and I can't be there for him.

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