Sunday, June 7, 2009

Freakin' exhausted, but loving every minute of it!!!

I woke up this morning and realized this wasn't a dream. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. In 24 hours, my whole perspective on life, my whole way of thinking, has changed. Being a mother is my life dream, and I'm finally on my way to realizing that dream.

I sent hubby a letter telling him the good news. I wish I could see his face when he opens it. We've been waiting for this for so long. It sucks that he can't be here with me right now, but it's all good. As long as my little man is nice and comfortable in there, that's all that matters.

I used to feel really fucked up that I couldn't get pregnant the same way almost everyone else could. I used to feel like there was something terribly wrong with me, like I wasn't good enough. Like I wasn't a real woman. I used to hate the fact that I had to do IVF. Not anymore. I've come to realize that it doesn't matter. I've reached the same result as those who are not fertility-challenged, and I'm damn proud of it.

I love you, my little cocoa puff. Hang in there. I can't wait to see you!!! ♥


Louie said...

Hey Amber!

Just wanted to congratulate you again! I can SO relate to all you were feeling (the frustration of not being to have kids "the old-fashioned way"). But I'm glad you also learned that the how is not important! Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy!!! I can't wait to read your impressions of that journey!

Talk to you soon!

Amber said...

Thanks again!! I'm already enjoying every minute of it! I know it sounds crazy, but I love feeling exhausted. I love all these weird aversions to foods I once loved. It means that all this is real!

And guess what? You're next!!! :-P

Lindsey said...

I have been trying to find blogs of women who are due around the same due date as I am. I can't find your due date on your blog, but for some reason when I was searching around and your blog popped up!
And judging by your blog title we have walked the same road! My husband and I have been TTC for about a year now. I took my first round of Clomid and it did the trick! I am 6 and half weeks along!
I will be checking back to see how you are doing!

Amber said...

My due date was originally February 11th, but they changed it the other day. It's now the 12th. lol